It's Never Too Late to Look Hot by Heather Estay

By Heather Estay

i have survived a disastrous divorce (and a few both disastrous first dates). i have survived my acquaintances' menopause insanity and my daughter's aggravating nuptials. i am courting Tim (a actually impressive Kisser), my profession is regular and satisfying, the children are introduced, my ex has exited, and my top neighbors are as as regards to basic as they have ever been (which, truthfully, isn't shut at all). Yep, as I technique the day I flip the massive Five-O, my existence is de facto buzzing along—but is it buzzing alongside to ''Happy Birthday'' or the topic music from Jaws ?

Da dum da dum: i am getting a brand new boss who subscribes to the Idi Amin tuition of Micromanagement. Da dum da dum: Tim's amorous intentions can be turning honorable—or handing over one other woman's path. Da dum da dum: My ex schemes to re-light our non-existent flame— eiouyw ! Da dum da dum: My daughter tells me that I—sexy, younger, extraordinary Fifty me—will quickly be a grandmother!

(Really, all i needed for my 50th birthday was once a few chocolate cake and some Botox treatments.)

to not fear. My most sensible neighbors have a technique to drag my existence again jointly back: a rigorous routine of bikini waxing and abdominal dancing, martial arts and Myers-Briggs—good grief!

i ponder if i will live to tell the tale to fifty-one. . . ?

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Extra info for It's Never Too Late to Look Hot

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Jess rejoined peevishly. She was taking notes, still miffed that I wouldn’t let her set up her flip chart. Fifty-three hours and forty-seven minutes may sound like a lot. But when you string it out over six months, it’s just slightly more time than you spend within that same period cleaning your house (depending on your level of domestic hygiene) and much less time than you would spend walking your dog (or, as in my case, letting your dogs walk you). ” Marie pointed out. ” “Sure, he calls about every other day and e-mails me a lot.

Besides,” Phil continued hopefully, “I’m sure you’ll be grateful for the change. You and I have worked together for so many years. Maybe too many. ” He smiled sadly, shaking his head. But I like old, vaudeville acts, I protested silently. Abbot and Costello? Hysterical! Burns and Allen? Who could be more clever than . . ” But I like being comfortable and settled and contented, like those cows who stand around all day chewing whatever disgusting thing they’re chewing. I could do that! I’d be more than happy to just moo and chew and .

I mean, ever since the first good-night kiss, he’s 43 Heather Estay always given me a good-night kiss. So now that we have, um, you know what, do I assume that we will always . . You would think that a wise, mature, sophisticated fiftyyear-old would know these things. She might—I don’t. Maybe if I’d known that he would be back in town that night, I would have gone back to Maxine’s for inspiration. ) Then when Tim and I got to my door, I’d have the nerve to fling myself at him passionately and . .

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