SHAG YOUR WAY TO THE TOP: THE REAL FAST TRACK TO SUCCESS by Imah Goer

By Imah Goer

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Additional resources for SHAG YOUR WAY TO THE TOP: THE REAL FAST TRACK TO SUCCESS

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Pmd 34 01/07/2005, 15:56 The real fast track to success The fast track alternative FOR HIM Become a real naked chef by serving your meat and two veg to a hungry producer. FOR HER When auditioning, always taste your food like you’re licking the end of the producer’s dick – before swallowing. pmd 35 01/07/2005, 15:56 Shag your way to the top Dentist Description A sadist who enjoys extracting people’s molars and then expects them to make polite conversation while their mouth is full of blood and bits of metal.

Study time 3 years. Requirements The ability to read, drink lager and annoy local residents for three years whilst obtaining a degree in spelling. pmd 40 01/07/2005, 15:56 The real fast track to success The fast track alternative FOR HIM Spend four weeks learning how to give tantric massage and test it on the headmistress. FOR HER Squeeze the headmaster’s buttocks and grin suggestively. pmd 41 01/07/2005, 15:56 Shag your way to the top Entrepreneur Description A self-employed wheeler-dealer who starts life as a market trader then expands into businesses that sell goods of legal origin.

Study time 3 years. Requirements A pair of scissors, a bin liner and a pointy haircut. pmd 48 01/07/2005, 15:56 The real fast track to success The fast track alternative FOR HIM Get a clothes manufacturer in stitches with your wit, charm and oversized appendage. FOR HER Hide your lack of design talent by modelling your own range of invisible clothes in front of an eager male audience. pmd 49 01/07/2005, 15:56 Shag your way to the top Fighter pilot Description A dashing and flamboyant character who flies to exotic countries, sees beautiful cities and bombs the hell out of them.

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